42.

Last chemo in Berlin. 

Leaving with a tear in my eye. 

But, 'the doctor and nurse are easily exchanged' my doc said. And I don't need to worry as everyone who chooses to work in oncology is going to be carring and nice. He was so right!

41.

Back to chemo this week. 

But feeling much better as I had more time to recover due to the canceled chemo last week. 

It didn't wipe me out as the last two. So I'm hoping for the best and that it'll stay this way. 

Maybe the last two were worse because I was mentally down and had to still recover from a root canal treatment as well. 

Whatever it was, I really hope I will tolerate it better from now on!

Today is day three after chemo and I feel ok. 

Actually I'm pretty impressed with myself as day one after chemo I went to Mila's summer festival at the school. And on day two after treatment I made it to Lilla's summer festival at pre-school! And even went to a Biergarten near by to meet friends for dinner last night! 

I lost my hair though!

I brushed it 30min before heading out to chemo and there was no stopping it. 

I knew it would happen, and I knew what to expect as it happened before. 

But it was still pretty confronting and I couldn't help but cry a little. 

Because I was running late I just chopped it off myself. Later we trimmed it to all one length. 

I look like a half plugged chicken. 

But learning from last time when I lost it, I'll keep it at 2-3cm for now as it is easier to pull out the loose ones every day for a week or so...by then there will be hardly anything left and I can shave off the last bit. 

Blood

I couldn't have chemo this week. 

My haemoglobin was too low. 

So I had a blood transfusion instead. 

It actually couldn't have come to a better time as the weather forecast is almost 40 degrees and that would be hard to survive feeling knocked down from chemo side effects. 

40.

I've turned down the drip with the anti nausea medication this time. It still knocked me out but not as bad as last time. Next time I'll turn it even slower. 

Side effects where pretty much like the one before. I can definitely tell it's a much stronger chemo. But this time I wasn't in such a pain after. 

It can only get better. 

39.

The first time on the new drug. 

I think it's called Taxol, but I'm not sure. 

I think I'll lose my hair this time, but I'm not sure. 

I think I'll have to be on it for 2-3 months, but I'm not sure. 

I do know for sure that this chemo is messing around with me much more as it is much stronger. 

I'm getting more medication to help with the side effects but still can feel the difference. 

The day off chemo I was already zoomed out receiving it (memo to myself: next week try and turn the drop down much slower!). 

The day after chemo I was in such pain! Apparently it's a good sign and means the metastasis is getting eaten up. 

Two days later my whole body ached like when you have the flu. 

Three days later the nausea kicked in. And stayed. 

Until it was time to go in again. For #2. 

Fingers crossed I feel better after the next one!

38.

#38

I had no idea, but this was the last time I had Navelbine. 

The chemo that lasted a year. 

But now it's not doing its job anymore. 

The last ct scan showed its travelled into my liver as well despite me being on chemo. 

So it's time to change the drug and try something new. Something stronger. 

19 cycles of Navelbine ✔️

37.

In and out I went today...

It's gotten to such a routine.