21.

New doctor, new chair, new chance. 

Old chemo. 

This time IV again. 

To make sure everything gets in. 

With the tablet you never really know how much does get absorbed. 

I was so weak. Have been from the past 3 weeks being so ill. 

And today I felt pretty down after having to vomit again. I didn't for a couple off days. 

So the doctor gave us a wheel chair. And my neighbour and friend pushed me over to the doctors surgery. 

I'm so glad I changed doctors. It's just around the corner now. About 500 metres. So easy. And still so far when you are ill and weak. 

It was a pleasure being able to go outside and breath in some fresh air.

Thank you Mr. Wheelchair!

Sick

It's hard to feel sick at the best off times. 

But to feel this sick on top off chemo and cancer and everything is just incredibly hard. 

I don't think I've ever been that sick. 

Bed bound for over 6 weeks! 

Totally out off reach for the girls. 

Just not involved in anything at all. 

Just sick, weak, down, hopeless. 

Hopeless that it'll ever be better again. 

And all because off an over reaction/allergic reaction to oxycodon. A morphin type pain relief I was supposed to take for my back pain...

The back pain which came back and seems to be staying. 

That is already freaking me out but it doesn't seem to face any of the doctors!

So after vomiting my guts out for 10 days my oncologist hospitalised me for a week. 

It was good to have some space to just be able to be sick without always trying to NOT make it look like I'm dying in front off the kids. And it has been good being looked after by doctors and nurses for a while. 

And the best thing was finding the reason for the vomits: not a tummy bug, but an reaction to my med's!