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The last chemo hit me pretty hard a day and a half after it was administered.

I felt so sick within minutes...my whole body was aching. My bones, my skin, everything! I felt very feverish....just as you do when you are about to come down with the flu...

Thank god my mum arrived that night to look after the kids.

It's hard to feel that sick at the best of times. Especially with kids a round. But to feel like that from chemo, and even worse: to feel like that from chemo without any emotional support from the hospital: nothing short of a nightmare!

In Australia the whole hospital staff where really making sure you had quite some support. They always tried in a very nice way to get you to go to supports groups, which was so helpful! And not just that: They actually gave you the feeling they cared!

And there isn't a lot to it. All they did was checking in on you every time you had chemo. The oncologist saw you before every chemo to see how you had been handling the one before and the breast care nurse visited you during chemo...good old times...

......

I need to change. 

Change my life. 

Change my happiness. 

And change hospital!

So I went and saw my GP. And I told her that a hospital called Havelhöhe had been recommended to me by several people. She told me to definitely get in there if I could.

I called Havelhöhe and started crying on the phone! I couldn't help it...it just happened...

I think probably because it's been such an emotional roller coaster and I don't feel at all supported by the system but part of it because I was so grateful that someone actually answered the phone!

The lady wanted to get me an appointment 10 days later, but the tears made her give me one the same day! 

Thank you tears! You came at the right time!

So I went. 

And it was great.

The doctor listened. 

And understood this isn't just about chemo. 

This is about healing my body, mind and soul. 

......