10.

Chemo number 10...

Had to come here by myself today...missing Susi...

At least the weather is beautiful and warm which allowed me to sit out in the meadow again.

And guess what I did?

I called Susi!

I had talked to my oncologist just before, so I wanted to update Susi and ask her opinion...

The oncologist took a new tumor marker last week. 

I didn't expect a big change as I haven't felt that different to the time she took one last. But I was pretty nervous. I was all short breathed and exhausted from the fear of the result. 

She didn't tell me the number, as it doesn't matter. It's all about the tendency. 

She didn't even specifically said what exactly the difference to the one before was. 

But as she is not wanting to do a ct, and she is not changing the treatment, it's got to be about the same as the last.  

She did say though, as this treatment seems to help with the pain and seems to keep it stable, she wants to continue on the same schedule. I was a little shocked but she said it'd be silly not to keep on going. Especially as she has just got the two tumor markers and none from before the treatment she can't say exactly what the tendency is yet. 

If it stays stable for a while she will be much more confident to do it less often. 

And it doesn't mean it'll be this schedule for the next 5 years...just for now...

I do think however, I'd like a ct. I think I'll ask her to have one done in 2 weeks...

If it's better, I'll be ecstatic!

If there is no change, that'll be good as well in my situation I guess!

And if it's worse, at least I know...right?

Or maybe I don't want to know...